Polyphemus vs Odysseus

Odysseus and his men arrived on their last ship to an island that had been rumored to to be home to Cyclopes. Worse than regular Cyclopes though was the biggest and meanest one, Polyphemus. Polyphemus was once a wealthy and powerful King until one day the witch Circe came to his kingdom to marry him. Polyphemus didn’t believe Circe was beautiful enough to be his queen so he rejected her. Circe didn’t take this well, she used her magic to turn him into a Cyclops and banished him to this island.

Odysseus rounded up a search party to scour the island for food and supplies so that they could be on their way. They searched for a few hours until they came across a large cave and decided to investigate it for supplies. This ended up being a terrible idea, because this was good ole Polyphemus’ cave.

As they were ransacking the cave, the opening to the cave suddenly shut. Where there was once light now turned into a giant, one eyed figure. It was Polyphemus.

“What do you puny humans think you’re doing?”, said Polyphemus in a voice that sounded a lot like that of Jerry Seinfeld.

“Great Polyphemus we humans were merely trying to find shelter for the night and hoping to borrow some provisions so that we might make our journey home to Ithaca,” cried Odysseus.

Polyphemus who was not fond of visitors didn’t take this well. He grabbed Odysseus’ men one by one and devoured them until he was the last one standing. Polyphemus told Odysseus that since he was the only one to speak up when he questioned them, that he will get the honor of being eaten last. It would have to wait though, for it was past Polyphemus’ bed time. So Polyphemus closed the entrance to the cave and left the young war hero to his thoughts.

Odysseus knew that he had to get out of this situation somehow, he knew he couldn’t out muscle the Cyclops, but perhaps he could out smart him. As he sat there in darkness and silence, he figured out a way to get the monster to let him leave.

Morning came and Polyphemus opened the cave entrance and asked Odysseus “Are you ready to be eaten young hero?”

“You may eat me master Cyclops, but first let us make things interesting. If you can answer my three questions then you may eat me, but if you answer any of them incorrectly then you must let me leave and return to my crew” replied Odysseus.

Intrigued by this Polyphemus replied, “Very well little man, ask your questions. Let’s see if you can outsmart the great Polyphemus.”

For Odysseus’ first question he asked, “What walks on 4 legs when it is morning, on 2 legs at noon and on 3 legs in the evening?”

“That’s easy, a human,” said Polyphemus. “You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to escape.”

“Alright next question, this one will be a little harder. What color is my underwear?” said Odysseus.

Polyphemus pondered for a few minutes then replied “That’s a trick question you’re not wearing any.”

“Son of a b!$&*, yes that’s correct. Okay last question, this one is for all the marbles,” Odysseus angrily said. “What is my name?”

Polyphemus thought about it really hard for about 5 minutes and sadly replied” I don’t know, you have won you may leave.”

Odysseus skipped out of cave with the biggest smirk on his face and said to the great Polyphemus, “If anyone asks, tell them No One out smarted you.” And with that Odysseus gathered his crew, set his sails, and set course to Circe’s island.

Gollum and Bilbo

Source: The Odyssey by Homer, Translated by Tony Kilin, http://mythfolklore.blogspot.com/2014/05/myth-folklore-unit-homers-odyssey.html

Authors Note: For this I wanted to make a sort of back story on Polyphemus and focus on his encounter with Odysseus. Instead of stabbing his eye out I made it to where he had to outsmart Polyphemus, like Bilbo and Gollum in the Hobbit.